Thursday, May 29, 2014

What Men Say: Duck Dude and Man BFF

This post got a little pushed back... because... well.. I got engaged! But it's here now and I am so excited! Because these two guys are so funny and so willing to let me ask them anything. So now, here is the Duck Dude and Man BFF edition. 

Man BFF is in the blue and Duck Dude is in the pink. And, of course, my comments are in the parentheses. Enjoy. 

On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate yourself as familiar with girls… (the things we do, the things we wear, make up)? 
A 10, my sister was my roommate this year. I am a man forever changed.

Just when i think i start to understand women, I realize i do not at all.  Realistically, do men every fully understand women? My answer is no.  But i am confident I have a slight grasp on understand them.  I'll give myself a 6.  Ask me tomorrow and it might be down to a 4 though.

What is the make-up called that we put on our face that makes it more bronze? 
Bronzer. I was going to say something sarcastic but last time I did that I got the answer wrong so ill keep it simple.

I believe this is called bronzer.  It is that flakey powder women use a paint brush to apply to their whole face.  Or maybe it is called the foundation...  

(Way to go! Startin it off easy!)

Spray tan? Tanning booth? All natural? 
I really think you should just show everyone the selfie I sent and the answer will be very self explanatory.

I am all about girls who tan naturally.  The tanning booth and spray tan options usually end up as an excuse for girls to have the little white heart on their hip to show off.  Not my style.  I am however guilty of tanning in a booth but only to build my dark complexion before a week of vacation on the beach to be sure not to burn.  that was a lie, i actually tan to compete with the dark natural complexion mollie has.

(Man BFF is always white.. or red. :) I can't help it that I just tan!)

What is your opinion of crop tops? (the shirts that show mid-driff) 
They are hott especially if the girl has a belly button ring

I'm not a fan of the crop tops in public.  A woman showing her mid drift usually identifies her as very young and trying to get attention.  However, if a girl is comfortable showing her mid drift, then she is not afraid for someone to see her belly button.

(hmm.. who is single and who has the fiancé?? haha)

If you’re on a first date and a girl orders a burger and fries, you think…..
I hope her metabolism never slows down otherwise shes gonna get fat.

there is nothing more attractive than a girl that is completely fine with eating finger foods on a first date.  This shows she is simple, comfortable eating with her hands, and not high maintenance.  Or she might just like burgers, in that case I am way off.

(Man BFF is really not the shallow. I don't think I ate for the first 3 dates Duck Dude and I went out on.. I don't know why that weirds me out)

If your girlfriend was obsessed with one Disney princess, who would you want it to be and why? 
Elsa. Have you seen the ‘let it go’ music video?!?!  She’s hott, blonde and can sing just like the sister of a certain blog writer I know ;). Enough said.

This one I know.  Being my girlfriend writes this blog, I better get this right.  Mollie would be Belle off of Beauty in the Beast.  She would be her because Belle is a brunette, beautiful and  loved the Beast even though he was a wild looking animal.  This parallels our relationship especially during duck season when I look like duck dynasty.

(niiiice Man BFF. And I definitely would be Belle. Always and forever..... and when Duck Dude wrote this... I was still his girlfriend! HA!)

What if a girl wanted you to eat gluten free? 
The beer manufacturers would make sure she ‘disappeared’. They wouldn’t be able to handle that big of a loss in revenue.

I would ask her if I had to drink gluten free as well.  I'm not going to change the ways I eat simply because someone asks that I eat differently.  I have tried the gluten free thing and failed miserably simply because I was not aware of all the great tasting things that are made with the protein found in wheat and oats.  

(This was funny to me. And don't let Duck Dude fool you, he only knew that because of Jimmy Kimmel.)

How do you feel about lipstick? 
I like it because this one time when I was heading from New York to Haiti some girl…..’got lipstick stains on my passport, make it hard to leave. Been around the world, don’t speak the language.’

Lipstick is for women with bad looking lips.  It gets everywhere with drinking on a glass, to kissing, etc.  I am completely fine with a nice gloss or flavored chapstick.  I will gladly let a my girlfriend wear lipstick if she will let me stay away from gluten free.

(This basically defines why Man BFF and I are BFFs.)

What’s your opinion on the current season Bachelorette Andi?
I thought the entire bachelor/bachelorette franchise imploded after they let that Juan Pablo tool on there?

Andi is an extremely attractive woman and seems to be intelligent with her past job as an attorney.  I have noticed that every swimsuit she wears covers her belly button.  Which is contradictory to my answer about crop tops.  Andi wearing one peice bathing suits does make me curious to what is wrong with her belly button.  Does it look funny?  Does she have an outie?  does she even have a belly button?  I do think it will be a good season.  And yes, I do watch the bachelor/bachelorette religiously as it is great entertainment. 

(We figured out Andi has a normal belly button this week on the Bachelorette!! Did anyone else notice??)

Why do women take so long to get ready?
Cause they’re poopin

Technology has advanced so much in the last 5 years.  Women take so long to get ready now days because they have their favorite reality tv show series playing on their ipad while they put on makeup, dry their hair, get dressed and simply get sucked into the show and lose track of time.

(uh-oh... Duck Dude has seen me get ready before.....)

What are you most looking forward to for the NYC trip of 2014?
The Jersey Shore beeches. All the judging looks you’re going to give the snookie look-a-likes, all the overly sarcastic comments I’ll be making and duck dude shirtless sounds like paradise to me. 

This will be my first time to NYC and I am quite nervous about the way I talk, walk, interact as a Texan.  I will definitely stand out.  I am looking forward to going to all of the small hot spots that are not touristy.  Our tour guide, Man BFF, has clear instructions to take me to the placed the locals like to hang out.  This I am pumped about.  It is going to be a great trip and glad we got it in before my best friend and Mollies best friend move back to Texas.

Eeeeek. June 27th get here!!!!!!

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