Wednesday, October 29, 2014

We Are Not Living Together

There's a question that people have been asking me for a while now. It's relatively simple to answer, but a sensitive issue at the same time. What's that question?

"Why don't you and Travis live together?"

Now, before we begin.. please know, these are only our opinions. I'm not saying it is the hands down, correct way to do things. I also want to say that I will not and have not passed judgement on people who choose to do things differently.. that's just not my place. We are not perfect and know we will never be. These are simply my thoughts when people ask me this question.

Ready for my answer? Yeah, this is no string-a-long post.. we are diving in. 

We do not live together out of respect for each other. 

I am going to have the privilege of spending my life with this man, and as excited as I am to be able to do that... I need to prepare for it. Some might say, "Well isn't that what you've been doing while you've been dating?" Yes and no. Throughout the year and a half we have dated (depending on who's starting point you use), we have been getting to know each other and have grown to love each other. BUT it was not until we got engaged that we really started discussing how we would like to live our lives, together, down to the nitty gritty details. For example, it was not until we were engaged that I told him the exact dollar amount of student loans I had remaining. It was a scary conversation for me and not one I was willing to have until I knew for 100% sure I was going to be doing forever with Duck Dude. 

But Mollie,  you are wasting $850 dollars a month on rent, not to speak of other bills when you know exactly where you will be living in 129 days. To this I say, I am not disagreeing with you. There are definitely days where I feel like my apartment is just where I sleep and change clothes; however, in our opinion, a financial advantage does not outweigh the respect aspect. We are choosing to not fully combine our lives together until we are married, so it doesn't make sense to jump right into living with him. 

It is also out of respect for our families. We both love, admire, and respect the ever lovin' crap out of our families. (sorry Mom for saying crap) We appreciate the support that they have given to us for our entire lives, from the last year and a half as a couple to loving the crap out of our diapers as babies. (I just had to) We value their opinion and because of that we are choosing not to live together until we are married.

It is also out of respect for our beliefs. All my life I prayed for a spiritual leader who would not be afraid to lead my family. I got one and he's a good one and I am so thankful. Our beliefs are the same. We simply believe that our relationship would be unsustainable without Christ at the center. For us, in order to do so, we are not living together until March 8th.

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