Monday, October 27, 2014

Tweets I Thought Were Funny, But No One Else Did

Today, I am bringing you a special segment. The thought occured to me as I scrolled through my twitter.... like waaay back... to prove someone wrong, because that's how much I love winning. As I was scrolling I thought to myself, "Wow, that was a really funny tweet and no one favorited it!" and, "Oh my gosh, there's another one that no one favorited!" and, "AHA! I'm a hilarious genius... why did no one favorite that!!" So today's concept is simple. 

"Only love can make it rain. @MsMarili #puregenius"
Y'all. That's my mom. And she said 'make it rain' and 'love' in. the. same. sentence. FUNNY!!!!

"Hi. My name is Mollie. I'm an adult and I have pink eye."
This was in 2012... I was 24 years old and had pink eye. Wear my glasses, put a warm washcloth on my eyes, miss school, pink eye. It was terrible.... but terribly funny as well!!!

This is my blonde sister for ya! The only thing I can chalk this up to is it was at the very beginning of my tweeting life... so maybe I didn't have enough followers when I tweeted it. That's the only reason.. because this is FUNNY.

"My biggest issue with tonight's #wta.... Tierra and I wear the same perfume. #samesparklesmell"
Like, Tierra, from the Bachelor who was a total nutcase!!! And talked about people taking her 'sparkle'... #samesparklesmell.... that's funny!!!

"Mollie, when your hair is that big, you look like a gypsy. #advicefromgrandma #bighurrr"
My own grandmother called me a gypsy!!!!

A baby!! In a bar!!! That was barefoot!!! I about died.... but apparently no one else did!!!

"I love runts. The candy kind and the small puppy kind. #staarweekbrain #happyfriday"
Ahhh. See what I did there!! That's genius!! Because I was really talking about the candy... but I didn't want to leave the little things out! They need a chance in life too, I declare!!!

"'Ms. Lindstrom isn't a crazy cat lady.... She's a crazy horse lady!!' least my kids know me? #proudtohaveatitle"
hahaha crazy horse lady... back from when I was a single gal.... with only my horses to listen to my conversation. Maybe when I marry Duck Dude I can be the crazy duck lady!!

Guys... for real. He had a microwave.. on the curb.. for his lunch!!! I lol'd. Literally. Laughed Out Loud!!!

"I like this song... But I sing it 'black wittle baby'.. every. time. #wittlebabytalk"
C'mon!!! Please tell me someone else hears this every time they hear the song!! I can't help it! 

"The best thing about bachelor in paradise is all the flash tats. #shinebright"
If you don't know what flash tats are, you're missing out. Because they're amazing... and that's funny.

Like, the duck face that I see all over my teacher twitter/throughout my school day? Where the girls stick their lips out like ducks? It's Koal's duck face because it's a toy duck.... by her face. Duck. Face. Get it?? That's funny. 

I'm sure there will eventually be a second edition. Because I'm going to continue to think I am funny. Happy Monday!!!

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