Friday, December 6, 2013

Icepocalypse 2013

That's right. There's ice. Which means the city of Dallas shuts down. School was cancelled by 7 pm which was fantastic, because that means I have more time to drive to Waco. Uh huh. No ice storm is going to stop me from going to the last game at Floyd Casey Stadium. The high for tomorrow in Waco is 28. So today, I'm bringing you the top 3 extremities I'd prefer to lose to frostbite.

1. Right hand, middle finger. This is due to the fact that this finger is already only performing at 50%. I jammed it in the student faculty volleyball game and my old body can't seem to make that knuckle work. So go ahead frostbite, take it.

2. Left foot, pinky toe. The one that goes wee wee wee all the way home. I know it's used for balance, but I think my balance can take that hit. Growing up I had a friend who's pinky toe didn't touch the ground... We called it the raptor toe. He was fine. And I end up putting that little toe up on the toe next to it.... That's a really weird statement. The pinky toe can go.

3. Right hand, ring finger. I realize this would make me have a 3 fingered right hand, but hear me out. I've always wanted to be left handed... So this would probably force my hand in that situation. Everyone loves lefties. And no one ever taught me how to hold a pencil, so I have this really weird writing bump on my ring finger. It seems to hold pencil lead, pen ink a lot longer; it makes my cuticle look awkward which, in turn, makes my nail bed an unusual shape. Manicurists never know what to do with it. So, I'd be ok with losing that one.

I don't know if I've ever spent time pondering which phalanges I would want to lose, but then again how often do we have ice storms in Dallas? If you're in the metroplex, stay safe and warm! I'm off to finish packing 7,836 layers for this football game.

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