Monday, April 7, 2014

Rusty Greer's Hand

I am getting through this Monday by reliving my Friday. 

Remember that one time I blogged about getting Rusty Greer signed baseball cards and I was going to put them in a safe? Well, imagine my reaction when I read an email Friday morning that Rusty Greer himself was going to be cooking hot dogs at my school for our "Opening Day" lunch... which wasn't actually Opening Day, but they decided to make Opening Day on a Monday and a Staar day, so we had "Opening Day" lunch on Friday. 

In the words of one of my coworkers, "I thought you were going to pee your pants." I cannot fault her, it was probably a very logical conclusion. Unfortunately, the Friday after Staar test week I wore minimal make up and a tshirt. I would have dressed up for Rusty, had I known he were coming. 

Alas, I marched myself down during my conference period and nervously waited for a coworker to introduce us. Sidenote: I get extremely awkward whenever I get nervous. Like, I cannot be held responsible for things that come out of my mouth. So, to make me even more nervous, my coworker says, "Oh, I've already told him all about you!" Ah. Cool. 

Coworker: "Hey Rusty, this is Mollie. The girl I was telling you about." 
Me: "Hiiiiii. It's so nice to meet you." 
Rusty: "Hey Mollie. It's a pleasure."
Me: "Remember when your daughter's tutor had you sign some baseball cards for a crazy lady who loves you?"
Rusty: "Yes."
Me: "That's me!! I'm the crazy lady!"
nothing like coming straight out with it! No shame in my game.
Rusty: "Ohhh, ok."
He's a man of many words, clearly.
Coworker: "Rusty, let me take y'alls picture together."

Rusty: "Sorry, I didn't want to put my grillin' hand on your shirt."
Me: "You can put your hand wherever you want."
immediately, ohhh my gosh did that just come out of my mouth??
Coworker: "Haha, Mollie, his wife is right there."
Me: "Eh, I do not really care."

I mean... I meant it how I meant it, but I also meant that he could have put his grilling hand on my shirt and I would not have even cared. So my lovely quote gets passed alllll around the school. 

Then my coworker texts me and says "Rusty is about to start renting out his grill to people. He's working on a website. Send me the picture of you and him and you might be on the website." I understand there is a "might" in that sentence... but I choose to think it's just a qualifier. In this picture there's also former Rangers Bobbie Witt and Kenny Hill!

During 6th period my class and I are watching Little Rascals and in walks my principal. He says, "A parting gift from Rusty."

Why yes, that is a green hand that says Love, Rusty. My principal luckily thought it was hysterical and didn't tell me I was sexually harassing a former Rangers player on campus. 

All I could focus on is Rusty loves me. 

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