Tuesday, June 11, 2013

My Fake Relationship

It all started in the hallway of my middle school.

The new teacher next door is relatively good looking and I like to think I'm not hideous all the time. Between our rooms lies one of the worst places on campus: the bathrooms. Why middle-schoolers like to hang out in there is way beyond my means of comprehension. So my passing period duties (ha I said duty) include making sure there are no raging parties going on in there or making sure the water fountain spout isn't turned the wrong way so it sprays the next person in line. (Have I mentioned how exciting my life is?)

So there's where it began. We stood by each other in the hallway, which obviously meant that we were in a relationship. Our relationship blossomed when they gave us a "couple" name and especially when we both had a whataburger cup on our desk. Nothing says relationship like whataburger, lesson learned. All the signs pointed to love. Ok fine, the main sign was when I egged it on by putting hearts by his name in my phone and "accidentally" letting the girls see it. This led to one of my favorite quotes all year, "we know soooo much about your personal life!" Before we knew it we were "engaged" and somehow I had July 2nd written all over my whiteboard. That's our wedding date. Every time they ask if I'm getting married my response is always the same:

 "Do I have a ring on my finger?"
"You're hiding it!!! You don't want us to see it!" 
"Trust me, if I had a diamond, I would be wearing it!"
Nope, doesn't sway them at all! I'm getting married and I'm pretty sure most of them expect me to come back next school year with a new last name. They even made a scrapbook of our relationship... like spent good money making a book about our "life" together. If you're ever at my apartment you're more than welcome to see it. It's sweet... and creepy all at the same time.

I even had a parent email me with "congratulations and blessings on your marriage." That was an awkward email back! Ha

It's led to interesting conversations with coworkers.
"Hey, your boyfriend is really cute!"
"Uhhh, which one?"
And to answer any questions about Duck Dude, yes he knows about my school fiancé. They are friends and we even took a picture all together. They are both the greatest and they are both crazy for putting up with me.

And that, my dear friends, is my fake relationship. And you're all invited to the non-existent wedding!!

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